The Honourable Vixen

Most of you will already know about Portia Da Costa, "Our Wendy" in normal life, who is a writer of erotic fiction. She hails from Yorkshire:

What I don't know is if the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon has hit the rest of the world. Just in case it hasn't, some bird has written an erotic novel (well, a 3-volume opus, really) that is being read by everyone everywhere. Not me, actually. I've heard it's badly written. Anyway, I have lots of stuff waiting to be read. But thanks to the 50 Shades phenomenon her publisher, Black Lace Books, is reissuing some titles, their principal offering being one of Wendy's:

It's the book of the week in some branches of the retailer WHSmith. Wendy/Portia came to the attention of the Vixens with her book "Entertaining Mr Stone", whose male lead character is based on Bobby Goren:

She then included him in a minor role in "Suite Seventeen", where the male character is one Valentino, who closely resembles Vincent's character in "The Velocity of Gary":

Wendy's books have the advantage over the 50 Shades books that they are well written. And both are still available on Amazon UK and US, as is In Too Deep - though to get the new soft-touch cover I think you will have to shop around.

In a brief post script, I'm glad to tell you that Wendy has just told me Our Man also appears in "In Too Deep". So that's a must-have, Vixens.
Sweet Dreams...

Family Values - Day 4

He's a big, bulky boy.

Check this out

Today, when I popped into the chemist's for some bits and pieces, the pharmacist offered me a free health check. He's just been on a course and was obviously eager to try out what he'd learnt.

I know what he thought. He'd be giving me lots of warnings and guidance. After all, I'm considerably overweight, I'm 59 and I don't exercise.

I was pretty sure he'd get a couple of surprises. And he did.

For example, my blood pressure used to be 90/60, the level at which in hospital dramas people start to peg out. But it has risen in recent years. I was quite anxious before my operation the other week, and it had gone up to 140+ over something-or-other.

Tha pharmacist's eyes nearly popped out of his head when my latest measurement was just 119/88. Apparently his is worse than mine.

Then there was the cholesterol. I knew it was low the last time it was done, some years ago, but he was amazed at the current levels: 3.62, of which the ratio of "good" cholesterols is 2.59. Apparently that's pretty low. Again, better than his.

Yes, my BMI is high (35.7) and I'm pretty inactive. Lots of aching joints will do that to you. He wants me to go for a diabetes test. Last time I had one of those, it was pretty good. Still, I'll indulge him. If I'm not going to have a fit old age, I might as well have a healthy one!

Night and Day

Last night, when I put out the rubbish, I noticed some interesting cloud formations. To the north there were lots of little bubbles of cloud which sadly didn't come out clearly as, surprise surprise, it was rather dark...



To the south east was the moon which illuminated some rather lovely horizontal cloud formations:


This afternoon, sitting in the garden, I suddenly became aware that the birds sitting in the bushes in a neighbour's garden were making quite a din. When I remember Rachel Carson's The Silent Spring, I feel thrilled that there is still so much birdsong, even in overcrowded suburban London. I rushed in to get my camera. As soon as I started filming, my neighbour started to do what sounded like scraping some paving slabs with a spade. Then there was a plane going over, then police sirens, then an ice cream van's chimes! So much for my peaceful garden with birdsong. Here's the best I managed. It doesn't sound as loud as it did "live" but I hope it gives you some idea of the joyous birdie music:

Family Values - Day 3

I love the stance...but the hair is far too short.

Family Values - Day 2

The view from above that I'd like to be below...

Family Values - Day 1

Too short, too short! Face too naked!

Folie a Deux - Day 15

No, it's gone again. Wow, their continuity sucks!

Folie a Deux - Day 14

Yep, confirmed, hair and beard grew back overnight. What a man!

Three Down One To Go

So, as the left hand and its carpal tunnel scar gradually recover from their trauma, on Friday I had steroid injections in my aching feet. Hobbling home across the park I reflected on the fact that only my right hand remains intact (though eventually that will be interfered with too).

Sadly, though I have the complexion of a 20-year-old (actually, I currently have a spot on my nose which makes it more like a teenager's) I appear to have the skeleton of a near-corpse. If I ever manage to reach retirement age before they raise it to the day after death, not for me the gentle strolls in the coutryside, or indeed anything else that requires my extremities to actually work without agony. The feet I quite liked the look of, and prided myself on, for much of my life haven't repaid my care. I give them the best treatment with rich creams, and all they do for me is have toes that are too supple and therefore get arthritis, arches that are too high and need support, and shoe requirements that are completely impossible to meet - especially when they need to be adapted for odd-length legs.

If I kill myself tomorrow, maybe they'll let me retire on Tuesday.

Folie a Deux - Day 13

Oh look, his hair's grown back!

Folie a Deux - Day 12

Oh look, he's had his hair cut.

Folie a Deux - Day 11

Poor Lynn's swansong. Same in Endgame with Roy Scheider. I don't think I could survive working so closely with him either!

No Apple-ogy

Steve Jobs must be turning in his grave. The company he lovingly set up losing value to rivals day by day. And now I know why.

Several months ago I bought the ebook George Harrison: Living in the Material World. It can do lots of things no ordinary book could do, and it should be wonderful.

Sadly, iTunes have ensured the opposite.

After a few days I was sent notice of an update. But the instructions didn't work. I couldn't even sign  in - it rejected my password, and didn't accept my answer to a verification question. Well of course I'd get that wrong - it was only the birthday I've lived with for 59 years!

The bright spark I was dealing with meanwhile decided that it needed further investigation (nothing was done however) and refunded me the purchase price. I never requested this.

Over that May weekend I managed to get it working, and immediately told the clever boy so. He never mentioned any consequences of my having received his "goodwill" refund, such as I no longer owned the book, even though I had never asked for my money back.

So when another update notice was sent to me (why, if I no longer owned the book?) I tried to download it - and completely lost the book.

I have been in contact with iTunes - via the old case number, as they failed to answer my query on their website. It is, of course, all my fault, and I shouldn't expect to do anything more than give them my money again to get the book back. After all, I requested the refund, didn't I? Complaint closed by those it is against, not by the person making it.

I've often been tempted to buy a Mac. I've thought of getting a newer iPad.

No chance. They'll never steal from me again.

Folie a Deux - Day 10

He looks just beautiful from this angle. Him and his lashes.

Folie a Deux - Day 9

You don't have to spy on me over the fence, Bobby, come round and see me...

No Joke

I'm sure no one thought I was exaggerating when said I was going to have a bandage like a boxing glove on my hand after my operation. I'd hoped the nurse was exaggerating, but sadly she wasn't:



The biggest problem was the wait before the op, because the surgeon was caught up in another theatre. I finished my book, and was dreading getting bored, but of course a waiting room full of women found plenty to talk about.

I'm feeling a bit bruised and sore, and of course I'm overdoing it. I can't help wondering what it will all look like when I take this monstrosity off tomorrow afternoon.

Folie a Deux - Day 8

Got some room for me in those jeans, darling?

Folie a Deux - Day 7

No matter how much fur you grow on your face, angel, it can't hide the sweetness of your features.

Olympic Torch Relay Operation Day

You know me. Why use a simple post title when a multiple one will do?

I thought I would miss the Olympic Torch Relay passing the end of my road as today was supposed to be my last working day of the term. But because I have my carpal tunnel surgery today, I finished work last week. Anyway, the relay was due to pass at about 8am, which would have left me plenty of time to get to work.

 

This is the Riverside day surgery unit at the local hospital where I will be spending part of my day.

Meanwhile, I trundled down to the main road shortly after 7.30 to be sure to be there in time for the torch. I wasn't quite prepared for the circus that preceded it. First they stopped the busy rush hour traffic on the main road:



Then the sponsors' vehicles went by, with "outrunners" giving bystanders their advertising flags to wave:



Then came the torch itself. No idea who was carrying it:




There was a friendly policeman nearby doing the easiest duty he'll ever have:



He even got to meet in passing the mother of a retired athletic heroine, my neighbour whose daughter, shot putter Myrtle Augee, took part in several Olympics and won Commonwealth Games gold:

Well, that's the Olympics over as afar as I'm concerned!