Post 2600

My, how these things zip by.

Latex-clad. Ahhh!


Talking of zips.


Unfair.


"This should be Val in my arms."


Oh, WOOOOOF!!


I've completely forgotten the caption I was going to give this picture. Anyone care?


Look at this picture again after I've published the next episode of Good Works!


"I told you it should be Val. She would love this wall-slamming stuff!"

Amen to that, Bobby.

Published!

Though not for the first time.

Not even the first time in this magazine.

Your Cat Magazine has been promoting the project to save the Scottish Wild Cat from extinction. I told them about my experiences at the wildlife park that holds the studbook - when I was taken round by the small cat keeper - and they asked me to write a short item for the July magazine, which arrived today.

Ruby has told me she sometimes comes across a copy, so even non-UK Vixens might be able to read it. You won't find it on their website www.yourcat.co.uk but you might find how to get hold of it. Lots of pwetty pictures of cute kitties!

The Guard

There being something new in the garden to climb on, of course the cats have to try it out. In force. Twiglet and Beano are testing the roof of the main coop and run. Mitzi is seeing how much pressure the top of the additional run can take.

They are the new Guard of the Chicken Coop.


Mitzi's done such a good job that she has been promoted to Honorary Chicken.

The Unvarnished Truth

"See? Right there it says every sane woman in the universe loves me."

"This is so boring! I just want to talk about my Vixens."

"But you cannot make me work overtime tonight, I have a date with Val."

"Look, there it is in my diary."

"It drives my girls crazy if I sit like this, with something held in front of me."

"On the other hand, it turns them on when I get physical with a man."

Playing With Bobby

I'll play anything with him any time.

"Let's play 'Find The Lady'."

"There are too many ladies for me to be able to conceal them all.

Not to mention my SnarkAngel."

"Let me kiss you awake, my Sleeping Beauty."

"I have 5 good reasons for choosing Val.I'll leave you to work them out for yourselves."

"She deserves my tongue, and I intend to give it to her."

(Is it my imagination, or can our hero make his eyes wider sideways?)

School Report

I'm sorry, Val, but all your teachers have said you could do better.


All the girls voted me teacher of the year, but the boys voted for Ms Eames.


I will pay you whatever you like to get me some of the boys' votes.


I didn't cheat, it was her.

I'm In Love With A Man

Many thanks to Tricia (BriarRose920) for giving permission to post her wonderful footage of our latest hero.

The rest of her offerings from Joe's Pub of the Don't Go In The Woods presentation are on her YouTube page http://www.youtube.com/user/BriarRose920



Oh lord, when he put his hand in his pocket - if I'd been there, I think I would have fainted!

What's wrong with Bobby?

Is he

too prone to squatting?


a bit deaf?


too handsome?


too sexy?


too handy?


too nosey?


too serious?


too intense?


too clever?


too caring?

Nah - he's just perfect is all.

After Major Case

Chapter 5 has now been posted:

http://aftermajorcase.blogspot.com/

Not many more to come, so get writing if you want Bobby and/or Alex to have a future, together or separately!

Theory of Relativity

Now, as we all know, not everyone is built in perfect proportion. But, as we also know, our lovely detective is.

Here, he tries to teach people how these relative measurements work.

First, you need to get your eyes tested. If you need to hold things this far from your eyes, you are probably short -sighted.


Here are Det. Eames and I demonstrating how long your arms have to be to read a book if you are very myopic.


It's like looking through a telescope. You look through the wrong end, and "things" may look this big...


...when in fact they are this big.


Something this large in girth...


...may look like this, or even smaller.


If it looks as if it is as long as over there to here, it's probably mine.


See how far back from the toilet I have to stand to take a leak?


Now, they say that cold showers can reduce size. I wonder if it's also true of cold cream?


Now, excuse me for a moment while I reach under the desk and make some adjustments. Would one of my Vixens please like to give me a hand?

All clear now? Good!