The Red Sneakers

Mercado the inept baddy.

The Newton Boys

Dock says "Hi!" Well, bits of him do...

Men Never Learn

In the supermarket today I saw an elderly man with two boxes of cat food pouches under his arm, and an empty pouch in his hand, which he was scrutinising. The boxes he held were from this range, at two boxes for £6:

I love cats. I like to be helpful. So I asked him if he was trying to identify the box the pouch might have come from. He was. He obviously had strict instructions from someone as to which pouches to buy. "Did a neighbour ask you?" I said, "Or a friend?" No, he said, his wife. I looked at the pouch and identified it as being from this range, at two boxes for £7:

I pointed out where the boxes were that contained the food his wife had asked for. He hesitated. He pointed at a similar box, which was the same brand but for senior cats aged 7+. I asked him how old his cats were. He said 3 or 4. So I redirected him back to the food he needed. He kept hold of the Whiskas boxes. No matter what I said, he kept repeating that he thought he was going to buy those.

I did try to warn him that he was going to be in trouble with his wife if he didn't take home the right food. Still he dithered. I went on with my shopping.

Five minutes later, he was still dithering in front of the cat food.

I don't know which he finally bought, but I can imagine his wife's reaction if he went home with the Whiskas.

Mystic Pizza

Ah, beautiful Bill. Anyone here doesn't wish they were giving him that particular pleasure?

Hooray!

Just heard Thatcher's dead! Evil old bitch. I doubt we'll ever recover from the damage she did to this country, which her darling Cameron is determined to complete.

If there's a heaven and a hell, I've NO doubt which one she'll be in.

Ruby Anniversary

Wow! Today marks my 40th wedding anniversary!

Sadly the divorce was seven years later, three years after the break-up.

One day I might scan in a few wedding photos. Or I might not.

We remained friends for years. I even went to his second wedding, and was invited to his third. But I don't think it took place, 'cos in 2000 he failed to return some calls, and I left him a message telling him to piss off. Maybe he was heartbroken by the split from Number 3, or maybe he was ashamed. Or too self-absorbed.

I think I might still be getting Christmas cards from him, but as I know a couple of guys called John with similar scrawl, I can't be sure. Nor do I really care.

Men In Black

The Bug. Trying very hard to fit into his new skin. Brilliant.