It's arrived!

My new motorised bed is here, and I have already had two much-needed massages on it! There is still a lot of stuff to put back into the bedroom, but as the bed is slightly longer than the old one in my very small bedroom, I may have to rethink the layout - and possibly the actual items of furniture...

I had a contact lens try-out today. I just couldn't feel them! Sadly, I also couldn't see clearly through them, so the optician is going to order a slightly altered prescription. I hope we can get it right - it was so great to think I could be specs-free.

I'm very tired, and the new bed is calling, but Bobby's on at 10 (an hour-and-a-half from now) and he's calling even louder. It's The Unblinking Eye tonight.

A handy man to have in Paradise

What wouldn't you give to have that hand where Theresa Russell appears to have been lucky enough to receive it?

Hotel Paradise

I've had this movie on VHS for a while, so I couldn't capture my own stills. Eliza and Diane had noticed some DVDs of it on Amazon, so I had a look, and ordered a copy. As usual I leapt in with both feet and ordered without reading properly what I was getting, aside from a DVD of my favourite actor in the buff for half an hour.

It arrived on Tuesday, with German text on the packet. Today I played it, expecting to have to cancel the subtitles. BUT IT WAS DUBBED! No gentle tones of the lovely Vincent's voice.

Hang on, I can get that from the video. I got this one to screencap. And I have. So here you have the perfect torso, with the ideal amount of chest hair, the cutest little behind, gorgeous legs, and all the rest that we've come to know and love.

Inspiration

As so often happens, someone else's post has inspired me to offer you something a bit different. This time it's Cathy's sister Pauline, a newcomer to blogging, whose blog is at dysfuncdiva.blogspot.com.

So in tribute to Pauline's Peas, here are some of Harry Graham's Ruthless Rhymes. They were first published in 1930.

TRAGEDY
That morning, when my wife eloped
With James, our chauffeur, how I moped!
What tragedies in life there are!
I'm dashed if I can start the car!

OBSTINACY
I warned poor Mary of her fate,
But she would wed a plumber's mate!
For hours the choir was forced to sing
While he went back to fetch the ring.

QUITE FUN
My son Augustus, in the street, one day,
Was feeling quite exceptionally merry.
A stranger asked him: "Can you show me, pray,
The quickest way to Brompton Cemetery?"
"The quickest way? You bet I can!" said Gus,
And pushed the fellow underneath a bus.
* * * * * *
Whatever people say about my son,
He does enjoy his little bit of fun.

TENDER-HEARTEDNESS
Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burnt to shes;
Now, although the room grows chilly,
I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy

This is my personal favourite.

APPRECIATION
Auntie, did you feel no pain
Falling from that willow tree?
Will you do it, please, again?
Cos my friend here didn't see.

Seemed like a good idea at the time...

Yesterday I bought a new carpet for the bedroom so that the new bed won't make the old one look even shabbier than it is. It's being fitted tomorrow, so today has been getting-ready time.

I'd already emptied everything vulnerable out of the bedroom so that nothing gets broken while the new bed gets installed, so the spare room is full of dolls' houses, china dolls and boxes of cosmetics, not to mention soft toys, and now the drawers of the bedroom furniture. As it's a very small room, there isn't actually any room for the furniture itself, though, so it's crammed into the living room or languishing in the hall. It can't stay there or the workmen won't be able to get the carpet round it, so tomorrow I may have to walk round with it on my head. All this new stuff in their space has caused great consternation among the parrots, but sadly has not made them behave with any more circumspection.

The old carpet was even mankier than I'd thought (for my US readers, manky is a slang word for mucky and yucky). It's an old foam backed carpet (laid by my own fair hand) and with age and the pressure of furniture and many footsteps, the foam turns into dust. It now awaits who knows what fate in the front garden. Probably a long rotting period then a late-night trip to the little local street recycling centre where much unrecyclable waste waits for the council to dispose of it. If you ask them to take it from your home they charge several limbs.

Despite a 2-hour "power nap" this afternoon, I am now a spent force, and have only managed to do about half the vacuuming I'd intended, so if they open the wrong door tomorrow they are in for a shock.

I think I might need a soothing massage and a long rest in that bed when it's finally installed.

The Real Dr Stern and Dr Borman

Of course, they don't actually figure much in the pictures, and when they do - well, which do you concentrate on, Dr Borman's naked body or Bobby's beautifully clothed one?