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Welcome to the world of the Vincent D'Onofrio obsessed - and a bit of real life thrown in.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Theory of Relativity

Now, as we all know, not everyone is built in perfect proportion. But, as we also know, our lovely detective is.

Here, he tries to teach people how these relative measurements work.

First, you need to get your eyes tested. If you need to hold things this far from your eyes, you are probably short -sighted.


Here are Det. Eames and I demonstrating how long your arms have to be to read a book if you are very myopic.


It's like looking through a telescope. You look through the wrong end, and "things" may look this big...


...when in fact they are this big.


Something this large in girth...


...may look like this, or even smaller.


If it looks as if it is as long as over there to here, it's probably mine.


See how far back from the toilet I have to stand to take a leak?


Now, they say that cold showers can reduce size. I wonder if it's also true of cold cream?


Now, excuse me for a moment while I reach under the desk and make some adjustments. Would one of my Vixens please like to give me a hand?



All clear now? Good!

8 comments:

judith said...

Val. that was hilarious. A cracking post.x

Beverly said...

Oh! Oh! (i raising my hand excitedly) I volunteer Bobby! Pick me! Pick me!

Diane said...

I love it when he 'demonstrates' his theories....and if he'd like to 'demonstrate' them on me....

potzina said...

An another funny post! Cheers!

JoJo said...

OUCH! I bumped my head on the underside of the desk! ;p lol

Eliza said...

Much clearer now thank you....

If anyone wants me I'll be helping Bobby :-D

jazzy said...

Great lesson! If only he would give individual private tuition in my home.

SnarkAngel said...

I can't stop staring at him in that blue shirt ... with bicep bulging. *sigh*

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