My Favourite Fruit

I think I'm a bit late to take his cherry! But the low humour continues.

"Hey! I can see up Val's skirt from here!"


"You should see the suggestive comment Val's written here."


"Open Sesame! Oh look - a bed to throw Val on to."


"I married someone else - I must have a screw loose!"


"Oops! Caught with my pants down!"


"I think I need to get inside." No-one's going to stop you, Bobby.


"Did I wash my hands after I went to the toilet?"


"Somehow I don't think Val's going to jump out of this box for my birthday.Out of a crate maybe?"

Legionnaires' Disease

In this episode we offer you:


Woolly hat with eyelashes.


The Suggestive Squat.

(Well it suggests plenty to me!)


Bopping Bobby.


Amazed and delighted Bobby.


More Rhythm and Coos.


Bobby's reaction to Eames farting.


Bobby playing the innocent when HE farts.


The headache brought on by the smelly gas.


Playing the clown - "Fart? Me? Never been known!"



Yes, this was a very windy episode.

An Interview with Vincent D'Onofrio

This interview took place in my bed - or in my head - or both - last night. It is hereby transcribed from the tape. Please do NOT ask for copies of the original soundtrack. Refusal often offends.

Val: Good evening, Mr D'Onofrio - or may I call you Vincent?
VDO: As long as I can call you Val.
Val: You can call me anytime... Er, sorry. Would it surprise you to learn, Vincent, that in VDO blogland there is fierce speculation about your python - that is...er... your endowment.
VDO: You mean..?
Val: How well you are endowed.
VDO: Well, you can check out for yourself Val, here, have a look.
(Sound of zip, rummaging in clothes, loud thud.)
VDO: Val, are you OK?
Val: Huh? What am I doing on the floor? Did I - faint?
VDO: When you looked at this, yeah.
(Sound of moan, thud. Slapping sound.)
VDO: Val, Val. (Sound of zip.) It's safe to wake up now.
Val: Right, sorry. Er. OK. How do you feel about the fact that you are widely regarded, not just as a remarkably fine actor, but as an Alpha Male and superhot sex god?
VDO: Well, what man wouldn't be flattered? I mean, the sex symbol thing is great, but you appreciate my acting, too? Wow! That deserves a reward. Switch off the tape recorder and let's liberate the python again.

I like my Comfort HOT!

I'm afraid some of my captions are a bit limited. You'll understand why.

Sorry, I just burped.


Woof.


WOOF!


WOOF!!


WOOF!!!


Spit on this hankie and I'll flatten that sticky-up bit of hair for you.


"I'm just practising playing my invisible guitar righthanded."


I just love his look as Kittredge brushes past him.


Er...woof?


This is how a penny looks dropping.


I always have an urge to pluck out the couple of grey hairs from his eyebrows.


Do you think he liked Spencer Durning?


Maybe not, but I wish he'd look at me like this.


WOOOOOOF!!!!!

Winter's Clothing

Not to mention Bobby's.

Among other things...


My dream situation - Bobby in the dark pointing his weapon at me.


We can have a competition to decide who's going to be the hands,but I'm the tie!


"Will this do for a sexy look?"


Is he perfect or what?


I love his ickle nose!


"Are you being patronising Val?"Yes, Bobby, punish me, please.


"Mmmm. Let me think about that."


Two hearts that beat as one.And a hand to dream about.


Bobby, brown and navy just don't go together.Except on you.


OK, maybe I want to be the hands after all.


"You're going down, Val. You just don't respect the long arm of the law."Trust me, Bobby, I respect the long EVERYTHING when the law is you.

I Love Necking

And necking with Vincent would be a truly wondrous experience.

We see a delicious amount of neck in Monster.

"I hope there's no-one behind me about to reach under and massage my privates."


There's a selection of yummy places here to kiss/lick/suck.


Most men need shoulder pads in jackets to get their shoulders to look this good.


Even the Monster can't stop looking at him.


A smile to make your heart stop.


I feel your sadness, Bobby. Can I comfort you by licking your neck?


You want me to move on to this side now? With pleasure!


OMG what a combination!


I asked him to try this on me later, so he's trying it out on this lucky guy first.