There was this wonderful comedy programme years ago called The Young Ones, which had some completely disparate student types sharing a house.
The long-haired hippie Neil, played by Nigel Planer, was supposed to be preparing the meal one day. He emptied the kitchen bin on the table, and when one of the others asked him what it was, he said, "Leftovers".
Well, the genius that is Richard Benyon MP, a Tory politician who likes us all to be "in it together" (as long as they and their rich friends are excused) has been giving advice to those in food poverty. Obviously as a rich twat he must be an expert on this subject.
He said the poor waste too much food. They should eat their leftovers. And cheese lasts a lot longer if you wrap it properly before putting it back in the fridge.
Well, thank you for that. I assume that those on benefits will now be receiving clingfilm with their benefits, as they could not afford to buy that and the cheese to wrap in it. Actually, don't bother, they probably can't afford the cheese either.
As for leftovers, the poor would probably be better off if Mr Benyon and his rich friends donated their leftovers (preferably without putting them in the bin first then retrieving them).
I tweeted Mr Benyon this morning asking him for his potato peelings, carrot scrapings, onion skin and gristle stir fry recipe, but so far he hasn't replied.
This surprises me, because I ran out of characters in my tweet after getting as far as "patronising c"
No prizes for guesing what the "c" was for.
Meanwhile I'm off to get my leftovers out of the bin. I suppose I have to wash them before eating them. I don't think the cat litter they share the bag with has much goodness in it.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Flehmen Unkind
Kitty cats large and small have a special organ in the roof of their mouths that increases their ability to smell, which is why you will often see them smelling stuff - or more often the air - with their mouths open. It's called the Jacobson's Organ, and the action is called "flehmen".
Well when you house some anoa (a species of small Indonesian buffalo) next door to the new tiger enclosure in a zoo, two things seem likely to happen: the anoa will be reluctant to come outside; and the tiger will lose all interest in mating with his new love and pace around dreaming of hunting his own dinner - even if he has been bred in captivity and has never hunted more than a stray pigeon.
That's what's happening to JaeJae at London Zoo.
He started the day enticingly close to the glass, enabling parents to get their vile offspring in the same photographic frame as the big boy. He stayed that way during "enrichment", when a keeper tried to lure him to the fence with offerings of meat.
Later, though, he woke up to the smell of fresh anoa and paced around trying to catch a glimpse, and perhaps a morsel, of his potential prey:
He stood on top of a convenient rock demonstrating the flehmen reaction:
In the old tiger enclosure it was too cold for the pygmy hippos to venture outside, so one dozed inside by the window doing an imitation of a leather sofa:
One of the colobus monkeys has a new baby. She's just three weeks old:
I knew I should have made a note of the names of these two types of snakes, but I didn't and I've forgotten. The first is a tangle of two or three, the green beauty just drapes itself over a branch in coils like a complicated piece of washing on the line:
On the subject of snakes, here are my new glasses - the ones that set me back over £450. Could have bought a real snake and a vivarium for that.
Well when you house some anoa (a species of small Indonesian buffalo) next door to the new tiger enclosure in a zoo, two things seem likely to happen: the anoa will be reluctant to come outside; and the tiger will lose all interest in mating with his new love and pace around dreaming of hunting his own dinner - even if he has been bred in captivity and has never hunted more than a stray pigeon.
That's what's happening to JaeJae at London Zoo.
He started the day enticingly close to the glass, enabling parents to get their vile offspring in the same photographic frame as the big boy. He stayed that way during "enrichment", when a keeper tried to lure him to the fence with offerings of meat.
Later, though, he woke up to the smell of fresh anoa and paced around trying to catch a glimpse, and perhaps a morsel, of his potential prey:
He stood on top of a convenient rock demonstrating the flehmen reaction:
In the old tiger enclosure it was too cold for the pygmy hippos to venture outside, so one dozed inside by the window doing an imitation of a leather sofa:
One of the colobus monkeys has a new baby. She's just three weeks old:
I knew I should have made a note of the names of these two types of snakes, but I didn't and I've forgotten. The first is a tangle of two or three, the green beauty just drapes itself over a branch in coils like a complicated piece of washing on the line:
On the subject of snakes, here are my new glasses - the ones that set me back over £450. Could have bought a real snake and a vivarium for that.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Sweet Sound
Of helicopters. London Marathon day and the start is only a mile or two away. Though the elite runners went 50 minutes ago, so it's quiet ended down a bit. The ordinary folks don't count so much...
Friday, April 19, 2013
Salute of the Jugger
Damaged but alive - and still alive at the end! Gar. The name is the same as the sound I would make if we did the dirty dance together, methinks.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
A Question...
...for the US Senators who think their loyalty should be to the gun lobby rather than their constituents.
As a mere UK citizen, I watch a lot of US cop shows, and when a school is featured, there always seem to be security guards employed there.
We don't have that over here. So tell me, please, how do you work it out that YOU are the guardians of freedom in this world, when even your kids need protecting from the guns you love by such a huge curtailment of their freedom in what should be the safest place for them?
We had a school gun massacre once, nearly as bad as Newtown. Just once. We immediately restricted gun ownership even further, and made sure all target weapons were locked up in gun clubs. There were few complaints, and none of our elected representatives was against the changes. No one lost a freedom that was truly valued.
You people are the dregs of the world. Protect ALL your citizens, not just those who make guns or those who love to shoot. You aren't living in the wild west any more. Reject the bribery of the gun manufacturers and be men (I guess most of you are male) by standing up for what's right.
As a mere UK citizen, I watch a lot of US cop shows, and when a school is featured, there always seem to be security guards employed there.
We don't have that over here. So tell me, please, how do you work it out that YOU are the guardians of freedom in this world, when even your kids need protecting from the guns you love by such a huge curtailment of their freedom in what should be the safest place for them?
We had a school gun massacre once, nearly as bad as Newtown. Just once. We immediately restricted gun ownership even further, and made sure all target weapons were locked up in gun clubs. There were few complaints, and none of our elected representatives was against the changes. No one lost a freedom that was truly valued.
You people are the dregs of the world. Protect ALL your citizens, not just those who make guns or those who love to shoot. You aren't living in the wild west any more. Reject the bribery of the gun manufacturers and be men (I guess most of you are male) by standing up for what's right.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
A Tale of Two PMs
One Prime Minister built up post-war Britain as a home for heroes. The other dismantled as much as she could so as to enrich the rich still further.
Which one deserved a ceremonial funeral? Not the one who got it.
Clement Attlee oversaw the creation of the welfare state and nationalisation of public utilities and some industries.
Thanks to him, Britain prospered. We had publicly owned companies to give us water, electricity and gas, to provide our bus and rail services, to produce steel and build ships, and to dig up coal.
Margaret Thatcher took his legacy apart, giving the profits from OUR services and giving them to shareholders rather than ploughing them back into those services. Now her acolyte Cameron is trying to finish the job that she started by destroying our greatest treasure, the National Health Service.
Attlee wold not have come across well in the TV age. He was not a great orator. He was not a larger-than-life character like Churchill, with whom he served as Deputy Prime Minister during the wartime coalition government. There was a contemporary joke that an empty cab pulled up and Mr Attlee got out.
He was later created an Earl, and his title continues, just, though his grandson, at 57, is still childless. The title will therefore die - just as well, because this treacherous man is a Conservative in the House of Lords.
I would be so proud to have such a distinguished ancestor. John Attlee, hang your head in shame. Think of the good you could have done if you'd followed your in illustious grandfather's footsteps.
Which one deserved a ceremonial funeral? Not the one who got it.
Clement Attlee oversaw the creation of the welfare state and nationalisation of public utilities and some industries.
Thanks to him, Britain prospered. We had publicly owned companies to give us water, electricity and gas, to provide our bus and rail services, to produce steel and build ships, and to dig up coal.
Margaret Thatcher took his legacy apart, giving the profits from OUR services and giving them to shareholders rather than ploughing them back into those services. Now her acolyte Cameron is trying to finish the job that she started by destroying our greatest treasure, the National Health Service.
Attlee wold not have come across well in the TV age. He was not a great orator. He was not a larger-than-life character like Churchill, with whom he served as Deputy Prime Minister during the wartime coalition government. There was a contemporary joke that an empty cab pulled up and Mr Attlee got out.
He was later created an Earl, and his title continues, just, though his grandson, at 57, is still childless. The title will therefore die - just as well, because this treacherous man is a Conservative in the House of Lords.
I would be so proud to have such a distinguished ancestor. John Attlee, hang your head in shame. Think of the good you could have done if you'd followed your in illustious grandfather's footsteps.
The Salton Sea
The completely unprepossessing Pooh Bear.
Yet somehow cute, and all because of his portrayer.
Yet somehow cute, and all because of his portrayer.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Looking for Love
This is Mjukuu.
She is the female gorilla who was deprived of her baby by David Field, a London Zoo hotshot, husband of a bigwig for an endangered species organisation and so not liable to sanction. He decided to send a new male, not the baby's father, in with the mother and baby just as littl'un was getting independent. The baby was killed. The breeding age females in the group would not get another opportunity to breed as the male was known to be infertile.
Finally, after months of delays, the infertile male having been removed last year, a new male has finally joined the group. His name is Kumbuku. He arrived at the zoo on Thursday and is not yet mixing with the girls.
But Mjukuu and Effie were deperately trying to get into the inside enclosure with him. They tried everything just to get a glimpse. Old Zaire was not interested.
Here's the boy they can't wait to get flirtatious with:
Blurred but obviously very handsome. He wowed the humans with some really butch displays. Then he set about dismantling the climbing wall.
Clever boy.
She is the female gorilla who was deprived of her baby by David Field, a London Zoo hotshot, husband of a bigwig for an endangered species organisation and so not liable to sanction. He decided to send a new male, not the baby's father, in with the mother and baby just as littl'un was getting independent. The baby was killed. The breeding age females in the group would not get another opportunity to breed as the male was known to be infertile.
Finally, after months of delays, the infertile male having been removed last year, a new male has finally joined the group. His name is Kumbuku. He arrived at the zoo on Thursday and is not yet mixing with the girls.
But Mjukuu and Effie were deperately trying to get into the inside enclosure with him. They tried everything just to get a glimpse. Old Zaire was not interested.
Here's the boy they can't wait to get flirtatious with:
Blurred but obviously very handsome. He wowed the humans with some really butch displays. Then he set about dismantling the climbing wall.
Clever boy.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
How much???!!
The loathsome author of the privatisation of all our publicly owned utilities; she who sold off all our assets, such as North Sea oil and gas and gave away our heritage and inheritance so that private individuals could profit from the ordinary people; she who destroyed British manufacturing industry and gave power to the finance industry (we all know where that led); she who has a rich family, including a gun-running son who has somehow obtained a knighthood, and ultra-wealthy friends; in these days of austerity where many have to resort to food banks and support for the disabled is being slashed; her funeral is to cost £10,000,000.
Her family may chip in. But why those she impoverished should have to pay for her obsequies, while those she enriched just get to go along and enjoy what the plebs pay for, I fail to understand.
All in this together, Mr Cameron? Yes, all bearing the expense of the witch's last rites. But the rich continue to bear nothing at all except the agonies of having to watch the protests of the anti-Thatcherites being squashed by a police force that, being itself hacked to pieces by the government, should be facilitating these protests, not putting them down.
Meanwhile, a campaign to get this number to the top of the charts has been successful, but "out of respect" for the person who never earned any respect in her lifetime, and deserves none in death, the radio chart programmes have been urged not to play it.
Her family may chip in. But why those she impoverished should have to pay for her obsequies, while those she enriched just get to go along and enjoy what the plebs pay for, I fail to understand.
All in this together, Mr Cameron? Yes, all bearing the expense of the witch's last rites. But the rich continue to bear nothing at all except the agonies of having to watch the protests of the anti-Thatcherites being squashed by a police force that, being itself hacked to pieces by the government, should be facilitating these protests, not putting them down.
Meanwhile, a campaign to get this number to the top of the charts has been successful, but "out of respect" for the person who never earned any respect in her lifetime, and deserves none in death, the radio chart programmes have been urged not to play it.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Men Never Learn
In the supermarket today I saw an elderly man with two boxes of cat food pouches under his arm, and an empty pouch in his hand, which he was scrutinising. The boxes he held were from this range, at two boxes for £6:
I love cats. I like to be helpful. So I asked him if he was trying to identify the box the pouch might have come from. He was. He obviously had strict instructions from someone as to which pouches to buy. "Did a neighbour ask you?" I said, "Or a friend?" No, he said, his wife. I looked at the pouch and identified it as being from this range, at two boxes for £7:
I pointed out where the boxes were that contained the food his wife had asked for. He hesitated. He pointed at a similar box, which was the same brand but for senior cats aged 7+. I asked him how old his cats were. He said 3 or 4. So I redirected him back to the food he needed. He kept hold of the Whiskas boxes. No matter what I said, he kept repeating that he thought he was going to buy those.
I did try to warn him that he was going to be in trouble with his wife if he didn't take home the right food. Still he dithered. I went on with my shopping.
Five minutes later, he was still dithering in front of the cat food.
I don't know which he finally bought, but I can imagine his wife's reaction if he went home with the Whiskas.
I love cats. I like to be helpful. So I asked him if he was trying to identify the box the pouch might have come from. He was. He obviously had strict instructions from someone as to which pouches to buy. "Did a neighbour ask you?" I said, "Or a friend?" No, he said, his wife. I looked at the pouch and identified it as being from this range, at two boxes for £7:
I pointed out where the boxes were that contained the food his wife had asked for. He hesitated. He pointed at a similar box, which was the same brand but for senior cats aged 7+. I asked him how old his cats were. He said 3 or 4. So I redirected him back to the food he needed. He kept hold of the Whiskas boxes. No matter what I said, he kept repeating that he thought he was going to buy those.
I did try to warn him that he was going to be in trouble with his wife if he didn't take home the right food. Still he dithered. I went on with my shopping.
Five minutes later, he was still dithering in front of the cat food.
I don't know which he finally bought, but I can imagine his wife's reaction if he went home with the Whiskas.
Tuesday, April 09, 2013
Mystic Pizza
Ah, beautiful Bill. Anyone here doesn't wish they were giving him that particular pleasure?
Monday, April 08, 2013
Hooray!
Just heard Thatcher's dead! Evil old bitch. I doubt we'll ever recover from the damage she did to this country, which her darling Cameron is determined to complete.
If there's a heaven and a hell, I've NO doubt which one she'll be in.
If there's a heaven and a hell, I've NO doubt which one she'll be in.
Sunday, April 07, 2013
Ruby Anniversary
Wow! Today marks my 40th wedding anniversary!
Sadly the divorce was seven years later, three years after the break-up.
One day I might scan in a few wedding photos. Or I might not.
We remained friends for years. I even went to his second wedding, and was invited to his third. But I don't think it took place, 'cos in 2000 he failed to return some calls, and I left him a message telling him to piss off. Maybe he was heartbroken by the split from Number 3, or maybe he was ashamed. Or too self-absorbed.
I think I might still be getting Christmas cards from him, but as I know a couple of guys called John with similar scrawl, I can't be sure. Nor do I really care.
Sadly the divorce was seven years later, three years after the break-up.
One day I might scan in a few wedding photos. Or I might not.
We remained friends for years. I even went to his second wedding, and was invited to his third. But I don't think it took place, 'cos in 2000 he failed to return some calls, and I left him a message telling him to piss off. Maybe he was heartbroken by the split from Number 3, or maybe he was ashamed. Or too self-absorbed.
I think I might still be getting Christmas cards from him, but as I know a couple of guys called John with similar scrawl, I can't be sure. Nor do I really care.
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