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Welcome to the world of the Vincent D'Onofrio obsessed - and a bit of real life thrown in.


Monday, January 18, 2010

Up the pole


The curtains in my living room have been holding on - just - for a very long time.


There are two windows, one of them a bay. The curtain rails are where my dear little departed parrot Rio first met her great love Louis. Together they excavated the plaster above it as if it were a clay lick in the rainforest, and unclipped the hooks so that the curtains hung on only by the end-stops. They often chewed the hooks till they broke. Rio also made it her mission to chew through the curtain directly behind her cage, and though the weave was so dense, even getting the tip of her beak between two threads must have been a major undertaking, she managed to chew a large hole in it.


The curtain rail in the bay should bend round the sides of the bay, but I could never make it bend enough to actually clip it into one of the fittings. So one side was very bendy and unsupported. As I rarely drew them, this was unimportant.


Then came this year's long cold snap, and I decided that the curtains really did need to be closed. The effort was too much for the rail in the bay, and another fitting snapped, leaving the rail attached at the extreme ends and in the middle. Closing them became as precarious as trying to stand up on a seesaw.


I spent hours yesterday trying to fix it, but to no avail. I cannot face more of the same. So I decided to hunt down a curtain pole that fits in a bay window.


The big DIY store doesn't sell them. The catalogue shop does, but I needed to see it and discuss it with an expert.


Enter the Paul Simon curtain shop.Of course they were in the middle of a refit. Of course it took the assistant ages to locate all the extras I need. But I did manage to get a brass pole that will fit my bay window, and is more straightforward to put up.


Only they say (inside the pack, of course), "It is advised that TWO people should fit this pole". Aha! So which neighbour close to her 70s should I ask for help?


Don't overdo it, said the physiotherapist today. A chance would be a fine thing.


OK, so can someone beam down the broadband line and lend me a hand, please, so that I can get the pole up, rather than being up the pole?




8 comments:

JoJo said...

Damn....good luck w/ that Val! Did you get new curtains as well?

Eliza said...

Good Luck Val!! The curtain poles we have are the ones we put up when we moved in 14 years ago..although in my bedroom we have a garden cane on cup hooks because we never actually got round to fitting a proper one..it does the job, and no-one but us will ever see it :-)

ann said...

val, i don't do diy, i'm worse than useless - they say if you want a proper job done do it yourself - not in my case - if i want a professional job done i pay someone

sorry i'm no use to you

fuzzytweetie said...

I can help! When I finally get over to your side of the pond, I'll gladly hold up the other end. Beware though, I don't see it happening in my lifetime. Don't hold your breath, my friend.

Maybe a certain tall former curtain hanger could help you??!!

Anonymous said...

Curtain rods are a pain in the ass, I am constantly trying to get the hardware to stay in the wall! Doing it by myself I usually hook one side and let the other end wave in the wind while I gingerly try to catch it where it's supposed to go. This is all done precariously standing on something that is not supposed to be a stool and hoping I don't kill myself.

SnarkAngel said...

I'm only good at installing mini blinds and vertical blinds. But I like Fuzzy's suggestion!

Jane said...

Didn't Vincent used to hang drapes? I'm sure he's good with 'poles' too :)

Anonymous said...

It all sounds VERY complicated.....

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