English for Advanced Users

Actually, it's a bit of basic use of Cockney Rhyming Slang.

I thought I'd retell my adventures at the zoo using a few words that used to be common currency in London, but are sadly falling into disuse.

"On Monday, as it was really brass monkeys, my boat got really red. I went to have a butchers at the titfers. I fancied a pint down at the rub-a-dub but I settled for a cup of Rosie."

Need a hand translating?

boat = boat race = face
butchers = butcher's hook = look
titfer = tit-for-tat = hat
rub-a-dub = rub-a-dub-dub = pub
Rosie = Rosie Lee = tea

All clear? Good!